


Blithering Idiot!

by Lacrima



Category: Karneval
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 16:59:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5383283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacrima/pseuds/Lacrima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can be sequel to Mornings. Because the Sheep and Hirato have nothing to do. And because things are always a bit hectic in Circus... (drabble-ish?) -S A</p><p>Another transfer... Formatting was evil :(</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That morning

Gareki was reading a rather hefty book by the name of "298 Practical Uses of Different Slipknots". Actually, hefty was inadequate. It contained roughly 1,600 pages of detailed descriptions, images, and the very long history of creative knot usage.

It was 6:17 in the morning. He had been woken 13 minutes before usual, at an unorthodox 4:02 AM by the otherworldly shriek of a freshly woken doctor. Needless to say, Gareki gave Grumpy Cat a run for his money with all the curses and profanities hissed out at the second ship captain, who was no doubt the cause of the disturbance.

After simmering like a slowly cooked roast for several minutes, he schooled his features into his usual deadpan, got up, brushed his teeth, and dressed.

He went to the mess hall in a white tank and olive green shorts, perfectly matching his squalid mood. Several of the girls on chef duty swooned over his mile-long legs and, for once in their lives, felt blessed to wake up at 3:20.

There, his eye twitching wildly, he witnessed Hirato attempt to kiss Akari, who was disgracefully rumpled, and whose messy hair rivalled Gareki's at the moment. Without hesitation, Akari stabbed Hirato in the thigh with the stainless steel fork and battered off his attempts at socialization.

Tsukitachi laughed cheerily at the sight and got a face-full of caramelized crepes. Not that they weren't tasty, but it would take more than an hour to get them out of his lovingly and painstakingly sculpted hair! Indeed, despite his carefree appearance, Tsukitachi cares greatly for his hair. His hair, he likes to think, is a lady-killer.

Gareki, too, was an insufferable grouch in the morning. He had found a kindred spirit in another unsentimental and irritable man. Although, said man was more than twice his age. Gareki quickly finished his blueberry pancakes and sausages, and, passing Akari, exchanged an amused (and rather irritated) look.

Akari fled to the refuge of the Research labs and Gareki resigned to his chamber, and had roughly two hours of peace. Unfortunately for him, the sheep woke everyone at six in the morning, and they were lonely because Gareki had already woken. Beeping conspiratorially, they decided to bring Yogi to cheer up someone who was having, what they were programmed to think of as, depression.

Noting that Yogi often made people display signs of being what they were programmed to associate with happiness, they decided on their own therapy. Without Akari's guidance.

That was why, at 6:18 in the morning, a cheerful Yogi was drop-kicked 20 ft by a raging Gareki. The sheep collected the data and decided that Gareki was much more lively. Lively was a sign of happiness. Noted, they would do this again.

* * *

Meanwhile in the Research Tower, Akari was working on developing a muscle regrowth stimulant. It would prove most beneficial to the people of Circus, if they could restore injuries to perfect order. Scar tissue rips and weakens muscles, and, most peevishly, aches in cold weather.

He had almost perfected it- the only problem was that it was not flexible enough, and in that manner, it was too close to scar tissue for the doctor. He went to the enormous library to see the side effects of some proteins, where, lo and behold, the bane of his existence, the Second ship captain materialized.

* * *

Gareki positively steamed. He glared at the sheep. He glared at Yogi. He glared at the walls. He glared at the cowering maids. He even glared at the stuffed Niji that Tsukumo had made for him. Who the hell did Yogi think he was? Why did he think it was fine to barge into private rooms without knocking?

Whimpering and cradling his bruised shin from his spot by the wall twenty feet away, Yogi looked up with teary eyes.

"G-Gare-ki~?" his voice wobbled like a toddler.

"What?" Gareki spat out like a wet cat. Dammit, he was tired and he was peacefully studying! Did the entire world decide to have a piss-Gareki-the-hell-off day?

Yogi began to bawl. "Ga-Gareki h-haaates meeeee!" His wails nearly burst the eardrums of everyone in the neighbourhood.

* * *

Deliberately ignoring the attention-seeking bastard, Akari strode to the bookshelf he was looking for, and selected a medical book that looked about fifteen pounds.

Weighing it in his hands, Akari decided it was seventeen. Running his slender finger down the spine, he flipped it open to the desired page and strode to the small coffee table at the opposite end of the library.

Irked at the doctor's deliberate avoidance, Hirato frowned and peered at Akari's book. Confronted by diagrams and texts which he had never seen the like of since his school days, the captain's smile began to become more and more synthetic and sweet.

Unnerved by the dark aura and smiling visage, Akari warily put the book away and tried to slip out the door, although his chances of escape, he knew, were slim, because Hirato undeniably had incredible senses.

Surprisingly, Hirato allowed Akari back in his labs, and even permitted him to try out one trial drug on some sample tissue he had grown from a donor cell.

Hirato knew Akari had his work. Akari's work was very important him, and to Circus. Of course it was important. Anything related to SSS officers had to be important. However Hirato knew he was pretty damn important too! In fact, he was probably one of the most important people in Circus, because he actually worked in the field. Being outranked by a book and a muscle in a petri dish? Disgraceful.

In a subtle attempt to make his visit more entertaining, Hirato secretively tripped one of his assistants, who dropped her mocha all of Akari and his sample. Akari whipped around on his heel and hurled some smarting insults at the captain, and fled to his room to take a shower and change his clothes. Working with coffee-soaked attire was not entirely professional, and Akari was never anything but.

* * *

Gareki had just about had enough. Muffling Yogi's health-deteriorating wail with the lieutenant's own scarf, Gareki dragged him to his room, put him by the foot of the bed, and warned him to be quiet. Gareki was one to value his quiet and his space, and allowing Yogi in was already an incredible sign of either trust, or extreme irritation. Knowing him, it was probably the latter.

* * *

Akari closed his eyes as the water ran down his light hair. It was inconceivable to anyone that Akari would ever indulge in anything. They picture him a cold, detached, and wondrous being, capable and vastly intelligent, beyond the realm of comprehension

However Akari is a human, and it is human nature to indulge and enjoy things at least once in a while.

Akari, personally, enjoys his showers. He indulges in the little sanitizing things in his bathroom. It shows in his nectarine and ginger shampoo, and his cucumber body wash. It shows in his wild cherry and vanilla shaving cream, and his honey-suckle hand soap.

So Akari serenely enjoys his shower lets the warm water caress his skin and wash all the tension and stress from work away.

Hirato, for once, is repentant of the scene he had caused. The assistant, a pretty thing with wide blue eyes and caramel hair twisted into a braid, had broken down and cried for the trouble she blamed herself for. Hirato didn't care for the girl, although he felt mildly guilty that she cried. No. He didn't feel guilty on her account at all- because the delicate assistant clearly had a thing for the doctor. Hirato was upset because of the trouble he had caused his lovely doctor. He had only meant to have a little fun with his assistant- he hadn't intended for this mess, or for Akari's research to be destroyed.

Deciding on an apology, not something he did for just anyone, or something that he did lightly, he approached Akari's quarters.

* * *

"Gareki-kun?" Yogi asked mildly, his head cocked to the side. All he received was a glare.

"What?"

Screwing up his mind in concentration, Yogi asked, "Why do you get angry so easily?"

"I'm not angry," Gareki grumbled.

"Then what are you?" Yogi asked, hoping it was something nice, while putting on a puzzled face.

"I'm happy, okay?" Gareki snarled sarcastically.

Yogi obviously didn't get the message.

* * *

As Hirato neared the doctor's rooms, the sound of running water made itself known to him. Abandoning leaving, which would be considered the proper action, he decided to peek. After all, how many chances would he get to see an SSS officer in the shower? Much less this frigid doctor?

Smirking because he assumed Akari would scream like an adolescent girl, he turned the knob and opened the door. Much to his disappointment, a thick cloud of steam obscured everything from Akari's feet to his chest.

* * *

Yogi glomped Gareki. "OH MY GOD! I LOVE YOU TOO GAREKI!" and attempted to kiss him.

* * *

Akari screeched, and in his panic, started throwing everything he could lay his hands on at Hirato, including all the shampoo bottles, conditioners, soaps, and even his boxers.

* * *

At exactly 6:34 AM,"YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!" reverberated through the halls of Circus.

Tsukumo made a mental note to obtain earplugs because mornings were becoming hectic.


	2. Idiots will be idiots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I didn't really think that I would be good at continuing this, so (don't kill me) I'm too disillusioned for that and I hope... Maybe... You'll like it? Lets see how it rolls.
> 
> Requested by Kaminokoe- love!
> 
> Kudos to everyone! And agreement with Azii's previous statement: Karneval fanfiction authors are amazing! Especially HiratoxAkari! (Just kidding, I just ship them the hardest)
> 
> Note: my comments were so weird :P

Tsukumo what always been fond of the second ship captain; that much is clear. Especially when she flushed a lovely color whenever Hirato, the conniving bastard, touched her.

Onlookers usually assumed her affection was more than sisterly, but this was not the case. Oh, not at all. After all, Tsukumo was 16, and had never been attracted to older men. Although it was true that Hirato was exceptionally attractive, she found it clear that Hirato would only ever be interested in one person, despite the courtships of endless rich and idle female figureheads.

That special person was highly intelligent. Blunt to the point of painfulness, yet polite. And yet, despite his massive intelligence, he was so oblivious to Hirato's advances, she was tempted to shave one of the Hitsuji, and have it prance around him naked while screaming.

Today the cause of her pain and suffering was yet again, her devilishly charming superior.

~flashback~

"You blithering idiot!"

The entire ship could hear the containers flying and demolishing the beautiful doctor's impeccable living quarters. On the next floor, a very battered Yogi was pulling himself off a potted plant.

Unfortunately for Hirato, some of the projectiles launched at him had not even been fully closed. One wrong step led to the downfall of Circus's celebrated airship captain.

Although Akari often pretended not to care, over the years he had grown fond of the brats he used to teach. Namely the two airship captains. Their incessant and intensely creepy stalking eventually became endearing, although if asked, he swore vehemently that they were vicious little terrorists that followed him like he was some sort of mother duck.

And no, he was not a mother duck. He maintained he was not streamlined (for how could he, if all he did was sit around researching? He had certainly lost muscle tone since his last field job, and he did not have any time to maintain his body), and he did not, certainly not, care for the smug and confident man with the funny top hat. He didn't take care of people. Although he was a doctor. Indeed, not motherly at all.

As such, his fury calmed immediately in the favor of making sure the insufferable brat was alright. He climbed out of the shower and hurriedly slung his towel on his hips.

He made his way towards Hirato, and dropped down to observe his right leg.

"How idiotic can you get? You've just sprained your ankle, you imbecile! Did your brother toss you out a window from the 5th floor? Did you blow your nose out of your brains? Did Yogi borrow your brains?- There is half a brain between the two of you- perhaps less, I shouldn't know-"

The doctor ranted on, furious at the stoic expression on the normally cocky face, and how Hirato seemed to care less about the injury than he did. Little did he know that Hirato could care less about what he was saying, although he did admire his doctor's lovely, smooth voice. No, Hirato, you see, was slightly distracted.

Hirato felt a strange warmth bloom inside him, yet again. He wondered if he was being terribly romantic and biased, or it Akari was truly angelic and ethereal? This otherworldly angel was currently fussing over his leg, upset about a minor sprain, while dazzling drops of water dripped from his light hair onto his clothes.

"Akari."

Akari turned, opening his mouth to question him, eyes narrowed into angry slits.

Hirato pulled him down, locking the confused doctor into a french kiss. Akari was too baffled to even react for a few moments. You could practically hear the gears screech to a stuttering stop and his mind wailing "does not compute." When Akari finally began to process the events, the Hitsugi that entered the room bleeped "error 417, expectation failed." Needless to say, it's cameras were burned out and began to smoke.

It was then that Akari slapped his insolent ex-student. Hirato could not describe how disappointed he was. Next time, he would make sure the sheep did not interrupt, because a confused Akari was an unresisting Akari, and Hirato had rather enjoyed kissing him.

Since his school years of eyeing and stalking the doctor with his partner in crime, he had, as had pretty much everyone in the school, noticed that Akari was fairly attractive. Very attractive.

This attraction only grew with the knowledge of his resolve, caring, and combat skills. The first time he had seen Akari in the field, the first time he saw him lose a patient, all these moments had added to his admiration and desire.

At first, he had been terrified that Akari would hang him from the tower in his boxers, chuck scalpels at him, set the school on fire, and set all the animals in the testing facility on him. Tsukitachi, the dense idiot, was very touchy-feely, and since the zombie Apocalypse did not arrive, Hirato became very disturbingly touchy.

Akari was flushed and furious. Who wouldn't be in his position? He attempted to do a good deed, in just his towel, and then he was assaulted? Forgetting about Hirato's injury, he bodily threw him out of his rooms.

~end flashback~

Tsukumo pouted and shook her head disapprovingly as her captain limped to the hospital wing using a Hitsuji for support, and as Yogi peeled his face off the floor, then subsequently peeled himself off the potted plant.

Gareki was clearly not that angry, as he dragged Yogi to the hospital wing, which Yogi pleaded for him not to with loud cries and whimpers of dismay. It seemed that this relationship might work out.

Akari was, quite fairly, a terrifying man. Yogi was quite positive he could castrate people by looking at them. Tsukumo did not think so, but such was popular opinion. And that is why Hirato's romancing was so unsuccessful, although he and the doctor fit together surprisingly well.

Patting down her blouse, she decided that on her next shopping trip in town, she would buy some dating manuals as well as earplugs. For she did love her sleep, and she was not dealing with the deafening attempts to romance tsunderes that disturbed the circadian rhythms of the entire ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys! I felt like I did a really bad job... not quite what I wanted! But I hope you like it. I honestly wasn't sure what to write, so there are cute sheep for us to love! Internet Ice cream for the readers!
> 
> Wah, Akari is too soft! He should be stronger and tougher! And so should Hirato! Or maybe it's because they were surprised? OOC to the end! Gomen minna!
> 
> ^note: that sounds awful, but I'm keeping it to remember the sentiment of the time

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I was quite snarky enough. Hm. Anyways! What do you think? More of a story than an analysis. \\(^v^)/ Yay! Finished! 1600 words- I SLAVED for this one! But it was worth it. For you. And for Akari.


End file.
